A taste for all seasons

When we lived overseas,  Mexican restaurants were unfortunately absent.  Not only was it not a favored cuisine, but all products of any association were non-existent.  (Salsa,  tortilla chips, guacamole!!)  We had always enjoyed Mexican food, but because it was now unavailable, we craved it.  We hoarded the few bags of Doritoes we could fit into our suitcases on return trips,  relishing the broken crumbs that the travel had rendered them.

At the moment, Mexican food is not at the top of my food chain list, and my taste buds are rebelling in an underhanded mutiny!  Yet every afternoon,   a gift of thoughtful kindness is left on our doorstep.  A new meal……different, appealing, delicious… is there to greet us when we arrive home.  As rocky as the day might have been, these lovely welcoming dinners enthuse these taste buds back to life and it is a luxury of enjoyment!  The benefit is intensified as planning and preparation were not necessary ingredients. ….and it is debatable who delights in each dish the most….Chip or I!

Psa 34:8 prompts us to “Taste and see that the LORD is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!”  That invitation is renewed each day; just like the enticing meal that waits as a welcome banner on our front porch.   It becomes a merciful craving….not just to taste, but to ingest, to be filled, satisfied, and desire more of God’s deep joyful goodness.     He does not leave us with the crumbs, but extends as a refuge the fullness of Himself.

Regardless of where Interferon treatments take me….now or in the following year, I am assured that the daily bread that sustains me will not  vanish…..rather, we have a loving Father who promises not only to shelter us through famines of our souls, but to do “immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.”  I am tasting and seeing that throughout each day, and I am so grateful for the prayers that are sustaining such tastes of joy!

The horizon

I have two grandaughters;  they are a delight and indescribably precious! (And I am, of course, unbiased!!) Being a grandmother opens a space in your heart that you didn't even know existed, expanding with chubby cheeks and toothless smiles.  Little fingers secure in your own hinders an army of ills. 

These daily doses, I am discovering, deliver  their own army of ills….with lingering residual as the days go by.  New to the wkend was a good case of seasickness……but I wasn’t at sea.  Anyone who has been on a rolling body of water realizes that if you can keep your eyes on the horizon you have a better chance of avoiding the above.  Meds help, but bring their own impact.  The preferred remedy  was  two granddaughters and lots of family time.  They brought their diversion of a different horizon, transforming the view with hugs and coos.

Matthew 14 relates the story about Peter, who is so credible because he is SO human! Seeing  Christ approaching across the water in a storm,  he asks Him to prove it is really Him and give him the same ability to step into the water and stay afloat.   He starts out well, but falters as the wind whips up and the waves roll……and he averts his eyes and begins to sink.  Familiar tale: good intentions,  tough circumstances, and it’s easy to fall.  But Peter cries out,  our own voices ringing often with his, asking to be saved from the sinking.  Christ gives him His hand, catches Peter, and climbs in the boat with him.  The waves subside. 

 Like Peter,  I am not beyond sinking, and must once again call out  to have my eyes raised from the squall underneath to the Face that brings me hope.  I am called to keep my eyes focused on a greater horizon and my hand firmly encased in the One that thwarts the storm.  And as HE climbs in the boat with me, He brings treasured  granddaughters and loving family, and dear friends who create a lovely horizon of care!

Your prayers keep that horizon steady, near, and in place, and I am deeply grateful!

Here comes the sun

Mornings could be the best part of the day:  coffee, sunrise (Well, OK....every now and then!), mist on the lake, crisp air.  The entire day awaits like an unwrapped package.  Particularly sweet is a new day that follows a difficult night; the returning sun bears new promises while diminishing yesterday's shadows.   Since beginning treatment on Monday, each morning has arrived with both promises and several hours of feeling GOOD!  Granted, the afternoon & evenings progress with the effects of the infusion: something similar to the movie, "Groundhog Day," as the "flu" repeats itself each day!  However, the gift of those earlier fine hours is significant! Luke said, "A new day will dawn on us from above because our God is loving and merciful." (1:78)  The truth of that is simple, yet vast.......the sun WILL rise and bring with it all the ways God reveals His love and mercy towards us. I've seen it vividly each day: from the savored morning hours, well into the "Groundhog" time returning with its shadows.  Elaborate kindnesses shrink those shadows:  bouquets of brilliant flowers, dressing our doorstep, delightful meals, prepared, delivered, welcoming our return from Brevard, drivers who convert the daily trek into a pleasant treat, lively cards and messages, lovely surprises.  All communicating love and mercy, as well as compassion and care.  They join new found mercies: the angels concealed in nurse's uniforms tending each patient's needs, the anti-nausea meds, the sleep meds, the cozy blankets delivered warm from the "oven."  (Your body's thermostat is NOT to be trusted in the treatment center!!)
"A new day will dawn on us from above...." .the vastness of the message lies in the greater truth: Christ Himself guarantees His arrival with the dawn, bringing His own Light to shine into the shadows.....erasing them, carrying them, or leading us through them.
I am grateful to so many who are modifying FULL days into GOOD days.....from morning until evening.......as your prayers, kindnesses, and Love usher in that very Light!!
I hope to see you one morning soon!
God bless!

First day behind me!  Though the day was long (I was at the infusion center from 1pm until 6:30,) all went smoothly, the nurses were attentive and thorough. Needles, infusion bags, carts and lounge chairs.....everything is in place and the process begins.  There are alot of bags, each one containing a different cocktail that is fed through tubes into your veins. I brought an abundance of reading material, but realized the Benedryl does not allow alot of reading!
Everyone reacts differently to Interferon, but the fever, chills and flu like aches were exactly as had been stated, and lasted through the night.  I am sooooooo happy to report that this morning has been good, with only fatigue and aches.....no fever!  Huge blessing!

I am convinced that the strong tower of prayer is keeping me CONSTANTLY UPLIFTED, as well as softening the impact of this treatment. 
The Ecclesiastes passage below states that there is a season and time for everything. It ends with  "He has made everything beautiful in its time." (Ecc 3:11)    Such wonderful family and friends have made this time beautiful; your compassion, meals, cards, care, driving, flowers and messages have made it so. I am so grateful for this journey, and for all who are praying and are such an integral part of it.

"There is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance." Ecc 3:4

From the first time I set my boots in skis and soared down the mtn in NC, I loved skiing.  The absolute freedom of moving unencumbered over the soft "cloud" of glistening snow was exhilarating.  Even falling (which I did, often,) failed to diminish the breathtaking liberty I felt.  It served only as an encouragement to manage my movements on skis with greater care and precision.

I read once that Lito Tejade-Flores, an accomplished Italian ski instructor,  said that the best moment in skiing is when the skier learns to "laugh and dance with the mountain." The visual of that statement resonates within me and begins to express the deep contentment of gliding down any ski slope.

Cancer is a word that brings a variety of responses......dancing and laughter might not be two that immediately come to mind. In the same way that peering down a particularly steep slope with an abundance of new snow might bring a reaction of fear and apprehension, the specter of chemotherapy and unknown territory can be an alarming mountain as well. Learning to navigate a slope of unknowns is a process of trusting......your past experiences, knowledge, abilities.  You fix your eyes halfway down the slope and keep them there, having faith that your skis underneath you will absorb the bumps and drops and bring you down the mountain.

Yesterday I embarked on a "new trail:"  I began the infusions of Interferon at the cancer center in Brevard.  I had read all the information and listened to what nurses and oncologist had had to say.  Yet, the unknowns were (and will be) present.  But I have a new set of skis.....God's mercies, which He says "are new every morning." And I have the past experiences of His peace and His faithfulness, which have carried me through miles of previous trails.  The knowledge of who HE is and what HE can do is a much greater power than understanding reactions and drug treatments.  HIS abilities will absorb the bumps and drops, and HE will bring me safely down this mountain.

There is vast liberty in trusting what is underneath.  What will happen tomorrow?  How can we cope with the infinite mystery of the moment?  What shall we do?  Where shall we turn?  When we contemplate the unknown fear of what is ahead, we discover as Moses did:  "The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are His everlasting arms." (Dt. 33:27)

And when you trust those everlasting arms, you are enabled......not by any strength that is of yourself, but by the very strength that HE promises when we are at our weakest.  Christ has gone before me and smoothed this trail; He has accomplished the work which allows me to "fix my eyes on HIM, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame."  (Heb 12:2)  That same joy is set before me:  "You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy. (Ps. 30:11) That same joy allows me the liberty to dance......even laugh.....with this mountain.