Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Words


Have I mentioned my granddaughters?! They communicate such a broad spectrum of joyful emotions! At the moment, we are entertained by Charlotte’s ability to talk and talk and talk, as well as Annelise’s growing vocabulary: mamama, dadadada, babababa!  I am sure she said “quack quack” a few days ago as we were reading a book about ducks….such an accomplishment!

Ways to communicate when speech is not possible, the ability to form words, express them, understand them, is a rich blessing.  But “words” arrive in many forms.  Early in my twenties, I accompanied four 11-year olds to a kibbutz, where we spent a month with 12 other “delegations” of nationalities.  Although English was the designated language, many children at that age had little, if any, grasp of our native language.  I marveled throughout that 4 wks as I watched the children make indelible friendships outside of speech.  Their speech became clear through their actions:   what they did, how they reacted and treated one another.  They were fluent in a deeper language.

When we were in college, someone asked Chip what my interests were and he answered “talking.”  Hmmmmm…..at least he knew what he was getting himself into when he asked me to marry him months later!  I have found that the interferon treatment brings a veil of vagueness over clear thought, concentration & memory.  The abundant resources that arrived with the treatment call this “chemo brain,” or more kindly, “mild cognitive impairment,” and direct the patient to not be concerned, as it usually diminishes when treatment ends. However, it IS concerning when it is your mind in which it is happening!  There is an unforeseen fatigue in chasing words around the alleyways of grey matter, or locating a thought that disappeared into the fog…..as if molasses had replaced whatever WAS there!  Multi-tasking, planning, decision making, all recede to a sluggish crawl.  The down side is that though there is a greater abundance of time to communicate, to share, to interact, speech produces unfamiliar hurdles and detours.  On difficult days, words often decelerate into 33rpm, like an errant record player that is turning too slowly.

How do you begin to make sense out of what can be senseless, or understand when there is little clarity? Or “hear” clearly through the haze?  I believe you lean on and into the only Word that continues to be understandable…..in a language that stands up against murkiness & uncertainty.
John articulates both the mystery and finite reality of this Word; the fixed and solid framework on which we rely as all other structure loses its shape.     1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.”  William Barclay states, that “Jesus is none other than God’s creative and life-giving word: He is the power of God which created the world, as well as the reason of God which sustains the world…..and He has come to earth in human bodily form.” As the mind of God became flesh, a person, His son,  “Jesus opened a window in time that we might see the eternal and unchanging love of God. “  As our own words attempt to explain what is in our minds to others, so was the Son of God sent in order to reveal His Father’s mind to the world.....and there is a fluency in the language that resounds in the depth of our hearts.  The love behind that “speaks” to me, regardless of how elusive words and thoughts become.  It conveys an unyielding certainty that no matter to “where” my own words might disappear, there is one True Word which never vanishes. 
John continues in verse 14: (from the Message): 14The Word became flesh and blood,
      and moved into the neighborhood.
   We saw the glory with our own eyes,
      the one-of-a-kind glory,
      like Father, like Son,
   Generous inside and out,
      true from start to finish.

In that truth is a clarity which brings light into each day…..breaking through the fog.  I welcome the words that bring me the comfort, [“When your words came, I devoured them, they are my joy and my heart’s delight, for I bear your name, O Lord God,” (Jere. 15)] as well as strengthened by the power behind them,[ “consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ. (Rom 10)]

I am also convinced that there is such power in the prayers that you share…..the cards that you send, the messages, the food,  the kindness, the care: as each becomes an uplifting expression that translates love.  I am grateful for the days when energy and clarity bring the gift of communication, speech, and cognizance…..as well as the sustaining grip of the Word that is present in the hazy ones! I appreciate the patience that is evident in the “hibernation days,” as well as the fellowship in the others! Though I might not relish what each day  brings, I savor what each day SAYS!

2 comments:

  1. Leslie - you said it very clearly, and it spoke to my heart directly tonight..."lean on and into the only Word that continues to be understandable". Amen sister! You are greatly loved. Connie Caldwell

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  2. Leslie, dear friend, your "chemo brain" has clearly not impeded your ability to communicate far beyond the ability most of us have. I know where your power and your communication skills come from. Bless you and know we love you beyond the biggest bear hug you can imagine!

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