When Russell was two he fell off a toy horse, requiring stitches just above his eyebrow. His cries stopped abruptly when the nurse placed a sterile cloth over his entire face, leaving just an opening over the affected eyebrow. In the sudden quiet, from beneath the cloth, his small voice asked, “where my face go, I can’t see it?”
I could only hold that chubby little hand until his face was once again uncovered.
Learning what the thrice-weekly injections produce begins a process of “unveiling:” what happens next and what will each day bring? There is something creepy about plunging a needle into your own “pinched inch,” and Chip can attest to the whining that is accompanying the “procedure!” Yet, being the invaluable cheerleader that he is, he both holds my hand and eases the “push.” And there is a slow “lifting” of the sterile cloth of Interferon’s side effects that has saturated these last many wks. (Hallelujah!!) Walking is once again an option, and the extreme fevers are diminishing!
I may not see the months ahead, but the Face that I seek daily is secure and steadfast. “Faith is being sure of what we HOPE for and CERTAIN of what we do not see.” Though I am enticed to run ahead and try to imagine what the next 140 injections will bring, God emphatically instructs us to “not worry about tomorrow.” “I am your answer,” He says instead……holding my hand until I can “see” again….and for as long as that might take.
Meanwhile, the faces and hands that ease each day and bring such comfort and care into our lives has been the Light of God’s own Face that has shone like a beacon through the shadows and quiet.
Leslie,
ReplyDeleteMonday was my turn to lead our Monday morning Bible study group. This Monday we begin our study of the book of Philippians. Essentially this is a letter from Paul to the church at Philippi thanking them for a gift of money they had sent to him and updating them on his situation (he was in prison). Joy or rejoicing is mentioned 16 times in the four chapters that make up this book and is clearly the message of encouragement Paul is ending to them.
In chapter one he talks about joy in times of suffering and makes the distinction between being happy which he links to our circumstances (when things are good it’s easy to be happy) and true joy (or contentment) which is available regardless of our circumstances through our faith and trust in Christ.
After I had prepared my lesson I read your posting of October 20. I want to share a couple of comments with you. First, through your blog you are giving a truly eloquent example of the joy Paul was speaking of. Yes, it is counter-intuitive, but through your words and sharing it becomes real. Second, you are a living example of Paul’s teaching in verses 12-14. In these verses, Paul puts forth one responsibility (and opportunity) of a Christian which is to advance the gospel regardless of our situation. Most of us do not have the extreme situation you are experiencing and yet we often fail to take advantage of the routine everyday opportunities God gives us to witness. In your case, not only have you taken advantage of your situation, you have done so with style and grace that shouts, “it may be counter-intuitive, but the joy of trusting in the Lord is real”. I thought your sentence that says, “Christ willingly submitted to a suffering that is beyond my imagination…so that I would not fact this alone” was magnificent.
I concluded our Monday morning session by reading your posting and we all wept as we realized the reality of the joy that is available to us by trusting in Christ. Six guys grew in their faith because of your words and your example.
Kathy and I continue to pray regularly for you and Chip and that both of you will continue to experience what Paul speaks of in 4:7 when he writes, “And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.”
Love,
Tom and Kathy
Leslie, we got this blogspot from Chad this weekend. I feel as though I have gotten to know you better without being face to face and through others. I pray for you and Chip daily. I am so sorry that you are having to suffer so physically, but the blessing you are giving to anybody reading this is so encouraging. The lessons you are teaching to us all are so powerful as it helps all to walk more closely with Jesus. May you feel the love and prayers of all your many friends and family as you give yourself the injections. May you visualize the healing that is occuring in the pain. May God continue to bless you and that your feel the peace and joy that comes only from Christ. Jo Ditzel
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